bordom of the vampire!
by windwingxs
Summary: Complete. Dracula takes a vacation from taking over the world, and Alucard is left at home to fend for himself... only my second fic, so don't kill me just yet. read and review please!
1. a halfman with a plan

Good evening(or whatever time it is for you). Welcome to my first Castlevania fic ever. I'm just writing this fiction because it seemed like a good story at the moment, so here goes. I don't own Castlevania. And I don't care if the story is out of alignment with the games, so be nice little boys & girls, don't flame me and REVIEW!  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------  
  
Alucard looked out over his domain. Ever since his fathers passing at the hands of that mortal(speaking of the hero in aria of sorrow, haven't played it yet, so yeah.), things had been relatively quiet at the castle. Even though the castle had been sent back to Austria, and the mortals had been sent back home, Alucard still wondered why he had stayed out of the battles his father always found himself in. True, he had fought with and against his father many times, but as of late, he had avoided the battles.  
Now, he had received word that his father would be returning later than usual, as he was taking a vacation in the Bahamas, or some far off place like that(going out at night only, of course). All the other minions of the dark lord had decided to join in the holiday and left for their places of origins until Dracula came back. This left Alucard all alone at home. Any other son left at home would be overjoyed at the mere thought of this, but it meant AGES of boredom for Alucard.  
  
"Darn it." Alucard said to no one in particular. "Even now, after all this time, he still forgets me."  
  
A single spider began to spin a web in his window, which showed a rather breath taking view of the moon. Alucard's room was sparsely decorated. Pictures of several women covered part of his walls, a collection of swords covered the rest. His own personal coffin was situated in the middle of the room, surrounded by several crosses and such. What would have amazed most people was that Alucard had 'acquired' a large entertainment center over the years. He had expanded his room, and made a hidden door to hide the library of games he had collected over the years. Death had even borrowed Alucard's copy of Resident Evil a few times, without Dracula ever knowing of course.  
But even with all these games, the internet, satellite TV, and a girlfriend in a place called California, Alucard had become bored. He was still waiting on the next Metroid game, but that wasn't due for a while. He slumped onto his oversized sofa, and ran down his checklist of things to do. It was rather short considering the castle was empty. Check on the portal systems, make sure the gate was well oiled, the usual stuff Alucard had been doing for the last 300 years. Alucard was finally bored enough to do these things, and set about to do so.  
In the middle of checking on the Clock Tower's time setting, Alucard came to an idea that might erase his boredom for a while...  
  
-------- Evil laughter from writer as scene changes. ----------------------- -------------  
  
David, simply put, was a nerd. His love for technology had always made him an outsider to almost every activity or club in his school. The only place he really fit in was his computer class, with all the other game nerds. He didn't really mind the fact that most girls ignored him, and by not having a girlfriend his attention stayed on his grades, which were rather good if he did say so himself. With that aside though, David did have a love interest. Her name was Stephanie. She had brown hair, and dark green eyes that reminded David of clovers. Her smile was warm and friendly, and she (amazingly) had feelings for David. Not romantic feelings yet, but ones of close friendship. David hadn't seen her that day however...  
  
------  
  
Alucard smiled at his handiwork. Though it may have been 'a little bit' like what his father did normally, Alucard had to admit it had differences. He ran down his checklist of things to do...  
  
~~~~~~  
  
X Capture girl who is liked by guy.  
  
X Leave note at guys house with twenty grand attached to it for equipment.  
  
X Assure girl no harm will come to her.  
  
Guy arrives, fights past ghouls and such, have fun time fighting him.  
  
Defeated guy, but allow him to live. Set girl free and send them on their way.  
  
Ask dad for permission.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
"..." Alucard's eye twitched at the last thing on his check list. He never asked for permission about anything anyway! "WHY IN THE WORLD DID I WRITE THIS ON THE LIST?!? Oh well, forget it." With that, Alucard walked off to check the preparations on the rest of the castle. With skeletons, spiders, bats, zombies, werewolves, and many other creatures loose in Castlevania, one could never be sure if they were doing what they were told to do...  
  
------~~~~~~------  
  
several minutes later, over the ocean and in some midwestern town in the U.S., David discovered a note sitting on his bed. He opened it, and twenty thousand dollars fell on the floor. He some how ignored the money for a second, and read the note.  
  
Dear David,  
  
My purpose in sending you this note is simple. I have kidnapped your 'girlfriend', and I am holding her in my castle. Use the money to buy whatever equipment you like, and come to Castlevania. Instructions are included in the money.  
  
Yours truly, Adrian Trepes, (a.k.a. Alucard)  
  
"What the..." David then noticed the money. "Oh. Well, at least I have an excuse to miss school."  
  
------------  
  
So... yeah. The first part is short and everything, and it really isn't a great story line to begin with, but I put it up anyway. Review if you want me to continue, but I might continue anyway... 


	2. Castlevania awaits!

Hey. Sorry I couldn't update as soon as I would have liked to, but the family had some issues. Oh well. I don't own Castlevania.  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
  
David stood outside of a VERY large and scary looking castle. The directions had lead him to Austria, and the previously mentioned castle.  
  
"OK, guess I'll check over my equipment one last time before I go in." David muttered.  
  
His load out was something straight out of the Matrix and the old Dracula films. Seventeen wooden stakes clipped to his belt, a shotgun, various hand guns (all silver bullets), silver knives, High Explosive grenades, and various other old fashioned Vampire killing tools. He was even carrying several Japanese sealing symbols, just in case.  
His trip over the Atlantic, without permission of course, was uncomfortable to say the least. Seven stops in third world countries, five times customs had tried to search the plane which forced them to make a get away under fire, and several calls from his parents had just about ruined his trip, not to mention finding out that Adrian Trepes was also known as the vampire Alucard from the local villagers.  
  
"And why did I even bother to bring this cell phone?" David tossed the offending item into the nearby lake. "Well, time to go to work..." David walked into the forest, knowing he might never come out again.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------  
  
Alucard was thinking the same thoughts as he entered the room where Stephanie was staying. A potted plant suddenly flew past his head, and shattered on the wall.  
  
"LET ME GO HOME YOU STUPID VAMPIRE!"  
  
'Good lord, all I wanted was some fun, and now I have to deal with a hyperactive hostage!' Alucard dodged several more flying items before he used a spell to paralyze her.  
  
"OK. Now that your not trying to kill me with plants, I just came here to tell you that your boyfriend has entered the Forest of Silence."  
  
"My boyfriend? I don't even HAVE a boyfriend you idiot!"  
  
Alucard winced at the volume of her voice. "You know, you could keep your voice down. I'm right beside you, after all."  
  
"I DON'T CARE YOU STUPID FREAK! I WANT TO GO HOME! And just who is going through this forest thingy anyway?"  
  
"The guy I assumed you were going out with. His name is David. You two seemed awfully close for not being boyfriend-girlfriend."  
  
"WHAT?!?! You mean you sent poor David to rescue me? YOU JERK! YOUR STUPID MONSTERS WILL KILL HIM!"  
  
"Actually, I told them all to fake death if they were even touched by him. The only creatures that will give him a hard time are the guard dog, whatever that thing is in the clock tower(even I don't know after studying it for a whole year), the zombies(who crumble as soon as you touch them anyway), Myself, and Death. Also the Vampire maids and the Succubus may try to hit on him, but I doubt he'll get any phone numbers from them. Then again..."  
  
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN DEATH WILL GIVE HIM TROUBLE? DEATH ISN'T A PERSON! AND WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT THE VAMPIRE MAIDS AND WHATEVER THAT SUCKABUS THINGY?"  
  
"Umm..." Alucard slowly backed away, realizing that his spell was fading off. "Well, the maids haven't had a boyfriend in centuries, and the Succubus basically feeds on emotions..."  
  
"And yes, I am a person." Death suddenly appeared above Stephanie, causing the teen to scream so loud, even Death had to cover his non- existent ears.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------  
  
David had made his way into the castle, and was finishing off waxing a pair of werewolves when a bat started to scratch his face.  
  
"Stupid creatures! Die!" David pulled out a shotgun and finished off all three at once. "Dear heaven! I wish these things would just stay down! They keep coming back like a lost puppy!"  
  
He suddenly regretted his words when he felt something breathing over his head. He whirled around to find a menacing three headed dog looking at him. Instead of biting his head off like David expected him to, the dog(dogs?) licked him, which sent him flying into the wall. Now covered in dog drool, David took out a vial of Holy water that he had found and tossed it on the dog. The beast erupted in blue flame, yelped and dived into the castle moat.  
  
"Umm... OK. That was easy." David continued into the castle, only to find more undead creatures attacking him. After 'killing' them, he found his first magical item. He grimaced as he looked over the item.  
  
"A whip? Who in their right mind even OWNS one of these things? Lordy, what a place I've come into."  
  
David made his way down the hall, and found a skeleton dusting off a statue of Dracula. The skeleton noticed the teenager, and turned to greet him.  
  
"Ello young masta!" The skeleton's British accent clearly showing through, "what can I do for ya today sonny?"  
  
David screamed and whipped the creature into submission. After the creature laid silent, "Wait... I could have asked for directions. CRAP! Oh well. Guess this whip thingy is useful after all."  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------  
  
Alucard's Familiar had watched David gain the Hunter's whip. This worried the creature very much. He had reported his findings to his master, who had laughed in his face.  
  
"Of course he has the hunter's whip! I borrowed it from the Belmonts as a favor!"  
  
"Oh." The creature said sheepishly. "I get it! Your hoping to get more of a challenge out of him by giving him some items!"  
  
"Yes Dimetrius. Now do go and find someone else to bother!"  
  
The bat like creature gave an squeak, then flew down the a hallway.  
  
"That boy sure gave Cerverous a lesson about trusting strangers..."  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------  
  
David was conserving his ammo now. Even with the whip, things had been getting harder as he progressed through the castle. He now found himself in the castle clock tower, which reminded him of a very evil Big Ben from the outside. The floating heads had given him a rough beating before he got their pattern down, but now he simply jumped or slid under them. After ascending stair case after stair case, almost electrocuting himself several times, and having some weird fire woman hit on him, he made it to the top.  
  
"I MADE IT!" David shouted triumphantly as he staggered from fatigue. He suddenly lost his balance and found himself at the feet of the Iron Golem. The Golem picked him up, and set him down in a metal chair.  
  
"We-come hu-man. Slay whi-ehl!" The Golem's broken English only served to make David think it was crazy. This caused David to want to run away. Quickly.  
  
David made a break for the nearest staircase. The nearest one, however, lead up to the roof. He tried to find a way off the tower, but the Golem followed him up and cornered him.  
  
"Gaul-moon not hut yea. Gaul-moon bee yea fir-" The Golem was cut off by a High Explosive grenade going off in his face, sending him to the opposite edge of the tower. David followed up with another grenade, and a whip attack to send the off balanced giant over the edge. The grenade, unfortunately, went off half-way down the tower, leaving a gaping hole in it's side. The tower started to sway, then fall toward the rest of the castle.  
  
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()() ()()()()()()()()  
  
Inside Stephanie's room, she could have sworn she heard several explosions, then someone yelling 'HOLY SHNIKIES!!!' and screaming for a while. She passed it off as one of the creatures in the castle playing tricks with her mind and went to bed.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------  
  
David screamed all the way as the tower fell. The tower smashed into the side of the castle, but David was saved from death by crashing through a window and landing in a rather soft bed. A rather soft, WARM bed. A rather soft, warm, lumpy, and-I-think-someone-is-sleeping-here bed. David immediately jumped up and off the bed, accidentaly tearing off the covers in the process. A woman dressed in a black night gown was trailing her fingers over one of the bed's many pillows, staring expectantly at David.  
  
"EEP! I'm so sorry miss!" David continued for five minutes trying to apologize for interrupting her sleep until he noticed her long orange nails and black wings. And the fact that she was extremely beautiful in a come- here-and-let-me-seduce-you kind of way.  
  
"You come here for something?" The Succubus asked, sliding off the bed and approaching David. She trailed her fingers teasingly through the teen's tree brown hair. David suddenly got a VERY bloody nose, and ran out of the room before the temptress could say anything else.  
  
"Dang it. I always lose the innocent ones..." She cooed, then returned to her beauty sleep.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------  
  
Wow. That was really bad, wasn't it? oh well, guess I have to bump up the rating a little bit(depending where I all ready had it...) Oh well. This story is supposed to be short, so expect the end in about two chapters or so. Until then, please read and review! And for those of you who wanted lemon scenes, THERE WILL BE NONE, SO GO AWAY! 


	3. zombies, maids and Death, oh my!

Yo! I'm back. I don't own Castlevania. Get over it.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------   
  


* * *

  
David was breathing hard, and had his hand clamped over his nose. The blood loss had been minimal, but his head was still a little hazy. After a few minutes of calming himself, he looked around and noticed he was in some kind of chapel. He assumed he was safe. Yeah, right.  
  
"Guards! Intruder in Lord Dracula's chapel! Kill him!"  
  
David suddenly saw several Lightning Armors pop up out of nowhere. He in turn pulled out one of his grenades, and chucked it into the midst of them. After a very satisfying explosion, pieces of armor were sent in all directions, causing a helmet to land on David's head. Panic came quickly after, along with shouts of, "Hey, who turned out the lights?" and "AAA! The darkness! It's gonna eat me!"  
  
Death shook his head slowly. "And this is who I'm supposed to 'die' for? No. No way. I'm gonna kill this sucka!" Death pulled out an Uzi, and was about to kill our befuddled hero, when Alucard cut the Uzi in half.  
  
"No. Bad Death."  
  
"Hey! Don't treat me like some puppy! I pity the fool who tries to call me a puppy!"  
  
"Would you shut-up!" Alucard was 'just slightly' displeased with Death. "I need you to give this guy a good fight, so he'll be ready to fight me!"  
  
"Whateva sucka, I'm gonna chop this fool inta nothingness."  
  
Alucard walked away massaging his temples. 'Yeah, Death definitely spent way to much time on the east coast of late...'  
  
By this time, David had rid himself of the accursed helmet. After giving it a good drop kick, and watching it soar through a stain glass window of Dracula, David continued in his search for Stephanie.  
  
------ outside the castle...   
  


* * *

  
Jason Graves, descendant of Nathan Graves, was overlooking Castlevania. He had lent his Hunters whip to Alucard, so he wouldn't have to fight Dracula this time. He didn't have an son or daughter yet, even though he had a wife, so he didn't want to risk ending his family line while Dracula was on the loose. He sighed and turned away from the castle, remembering his wife wanted him home early.  
  
Then he noticed a ringing sound coming from the lake.  
  
------ back inside the castle...   
  


* * *

  
David had climbed up the long hallways of the Chapel, and was at the final room. He opened the door, only to see Death waiting for him. Literally.  
  
"Welcome Sucka! You gonna die!"  
  
David, who had unwillingly stepped through the door, found it to be locked. He yanked on it several times before a scythe imbedded itself into the door, next to his face.  
  
"Oh. great. Yeah, just what I always wanted. Stuck in a room with some scythe throwing maniac." David turned and faced Death. "AND WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SUCKA!?!"  
  
David brought out his shotgun, and blew off Death's legs. Death looked down, and his bones slowly returned to his body. He tried to stick out his tongue, but then realized it didn't exist in the first place. David, who was still angry with death, used his whip to rip Death's scythe from his hands.  
  
"Hey! Give me back my scythe! That's my trademark, ya know?"  
  
"Heck no! You called me a sucka!" With that, David cracked his whip at Death's forehead, causing him to fall apart. "Wow, that was easier than I thought."  
  
David started to walk away, but then heard Death's girlish scream as he turned into a giant bone-worm thing. David, who was now tired of the stupid fight, tossed his last High Explosive grenade at Death, causing a shower of bone fragments.  
  
"Guess that's the last of him." David walked of, leaving the severed head of Death to gripe to himself about kids these days...  
  


* * *

  
Stephanie was finally asleep. Amazingly, none of the creatures had played tricks on her recently. Ever since that Vampire Maid tried to suck her blood out, all the monsters kept their distance from her. Stephanie, who had beat the maid over the head with a silver cross, was now feared for her inability to control her anger. And since Alucard had been nice enough to give her all the items needed to kill any creature that tried to harm her, she felt safe enough sleeping. Over a week without sleep would have driven her insane, so she was glad for the respite...  
  
What she didn't know is that Alucard was casting a sleep spell on her. He wanted David to think she had been bitten, so he would be more angry. With all luck, he would be arriving soon...  
  


* * *

  
However, David wasn't having very much luck at the moment. The waves of Zombies kept approaching him, no mater how many he cut down with the whip. He decided for a more direct approach, and simply rammed through them all. Some tried to grab him, but they fell apart when they touched him.  
After a few more rooms of zombies, he found himself in the middle of the castle, or so his map told him. He noticed a nearby door and opened it, only to slam it closed.  
  
"Reminder to self, knock on doors for giant menacing spider may be behind it."  
  
Resolving to move on, David made it halfway down the hall until he met what seemed to be a maid.  
  
"Um, Miss? Where could I find someone called Alucard here?"  
  
The maid, who was one of the first maids to be 'vampireized', looked him over. Noticing his strong build, she decided she would help him. For a price.  
  
"Well, I know where he is, but I'm not going to tell you!" she said teasingly. Her voice was sweet, but even David could tell she was flirting with him.  
  
"Um..."  
  
"Say, I could tell you, if you promise me one thing..."  
  
"And what would that be?" a group of people chorused.  
  
Suddenly the room was full of women. They were all maids.  
  
"Well, I was just going to make him promise to go on a date with me, but I guess we can later it to make him date ALL of us." She smiled, showing off her fangs.  
  
David, who was very confused until he saw the fangs, was disturbed by the turn of events. Not wanting to be rude, he tried to slip out quietly. To bad for him, he sucked at stealth.  
  
"HEY!" one of the many Vampire Maids pointed at David, who was now breaking out into a run, "He's trying to get out of dating us!"  
  
The maids gave chase, but their progress was halted by a barrier of holy fire. David escaped into the middle of the castle. 'Dang it! My nose is bleeding again!' he thought. He later noticed that he was in some kind of bedroom. He then noticed the girl in the middle of the bed. And after that, he noticed she was kind of pale, and she had blood dripping from her neck...  
  
"Stephanie!"  
  


* * *

  
Hey! Third chapter done! I'm working on the next one, so be ready for the last boss fight! 


	4. Psyco bable

Final chapter. I don't own Castlevania. It's serious in the beginning, but it will be funny at the end, I promise.  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
David walked over to the bed. He gingerly ran his fingers through Stephanie's hair, but stopped when he noticed she was still breathing.  
  
"Thank goodness." he said quietly. David ran his hand along her neck, and discovered two holes that were bleeding. He then noticed the Vampire standing across the bed from him, a small dribble of blood on his left cheek. "Alucard, I presume."  
  
"Yes. And your David. Amazing how you got passed all the creatures in the castle so easily." Alucard said, lying to get David's hopes up. "But now it's time to fight the master. Prepare to die!"  
  
Alucard leapt over the bed, almost severing David's head off with his sword, but David amazingly was able to dodge it. He pulled out a pistol, and fired repeated shots at Alucard, who flipped away and dodged with his inhuman speed. Alucard brought out his sword again, and tried to bring it down on David's head, but David brought out a dagger and struck the blow away. With his other hand, he brought the whip from the side and cracked it against Alucard's side. The Vampire was hardly affected.  
  
"Was that supposed to hurt?" Alucard asked.  
  
"Maybe." David's eyebrow twitched.  
  
"You really are weak. Maybe I should just kill you now."  
  
"Well, if your so good, why didn't you cut my head off?"  
  
"Cause I want a good fight before you go."  
  
"Did you really bite her?"  
  
"Maybe."  
  
David brought out his shotgun and fired it at Alucard, but Alucard only took a small hit on his side. Alucard, who was enjoying himself immensely, chucked an ax at David. David whipped it out of the air and flung a knife at the vampire. He caught the knife and returned the attack. David took out Death's scythe, and the weapons dark magic stopped the knife in it's tracks.  
  
"So, I see you got Death's scythe from him."  
  
"Yeah, he got kind of pissed."  
  
"It's his trademark. He'll come after you once he regenerates."  
  
"Oh well. I still have some of that money you left me, so I can buy more grenades."  
  
"YOU DIDN'T SPEND ALL THE MONEY?"  
  
"Of course not! Half of it's in my bank account! The other I used to buy equipment and transportation!" David dashed at Alucard and tried to cut him in half with the scythe, but Alucard brought his sword up to block it. The two went on for three minutes, but both seemed to be at a stalemate. Suddenly, two figures entered the room, both holding their noses and breathing hard. The dueling pair stopped to find who their companion's were.  
  
"Oh. Hi Mr. Graves." Alucard said.  
  
"Hello. I was just accompanying this kid through the castle."  
  
David went wide eyed at who the other person was. "Eric? What the heck are you doing here?"  
  
"Well, I came to find out where Stephanie was. I traced your cell phone here, and met him." Eric pointed toward Jason.  
  
"Oh." David said. "But why are you holding your noses?"  
  
"The Maids." Jason and Eric said together.  
  
"Hey Alucard, catch!" Jason threw David's cell phone to Alucard, who wasn't paying attention. It struck the absent minded Vampire in his forehead, knocking him out cold.  
  
"Well, guess that's the end of that." David said. He looked over at Stephanie, and noticed the blood and teeth holes had disappeared.  
  
Eric, being a perfect gentleman, picked Stephanie up off her bed and started to walk out of the castle. David stopped him though.  
  
"Dude, I'm the hero of this story, right? Shouldn't I get to carry the girl out?"  
  
"Why, your not her boyfriend."  
  
"WHAT!" Alucard, who had recently come back to reality, screamed.  
  
"Yeah!" Stephanie said. "Sorry, but I lied to you about not having a boyfriend. I really didn't want to risk his life." And with that, Eric walked out of the room carrying his girlfriend.  
  
This left Alucard, Jason, and David with their collective jaws hanging.  
  
------  
  
David, who had bid his good-bye's to Alucard and Jason, started his long trek out of the castle. Before he could escape however...  
  
"Hi David!"  
  
"who's there???" David asked. The darkness around him seemed to shift. Suddenly, he was surrounded by maids. "Help..." David whimpered.  
  
------  
  
After a few weeks, David was seen roaming the Romanian country side, and was said to be a Vampire with a following of maids. Jason graves retrieved the hunters whip from Alucard, and Alucard went into his coffin and slept until Dracula returned, when Alucard promptly defeated him. Eric and Stephanie returned to the states, and lived out their lives there.  
  
The End.  
  
--------------  
  
Stupid Fic, Stupid ending as I always say. Have a nice life people. 


End file.
